There’s one thing I always think of when I hear “how could you let it get so bad?” and similar phrases. It’s in the comments of every video of matted hair or a dirty kitchen.
I think the appropriate response is “what would have to happen to you for you to let it get that bad?” And when you think about that question, and the horrifying answers that come with it, you almost certainly have more sympathy for the person you were being judgemental to.
People who let their self-care needs go unmet for long periods of time are only rarely lazy and even more rarely comfortable and happy with that state.
How badly injured would you have to be to say “fuck it” to washing dishes?
How bad would you mental health have to be to give up on brushing your teeth?
How much grief would you have to be in to stop making yourself meals?
And the answer is probably lower than many of us have ever had the misfortune to realize.
The thing is that at some point you need to confront the fact that thinking you’re the worst person on planet earth is also a form of ego.
“You’re not the main character” often applies to people who think everything will go their way. But not every story is a heroes journey. Some are tragedies. Do you see yourself as the main character of a tragedy? You’re not the main character applies to that as well.
Thinking that you’re so uniquely annoying that that literally nobody on planet earth would like you is also a form of thinking you’re special and can also in certain ways be harmful to the people around you.
At some point you need to realize that there is no main character. Nobody on planet earth is inherently at their core more or less lovable than other people and even with very big mistakes almost nobody is beyond redemption or love. And you are not some special exception to either of those things. Thinking that you are is just your ego and mental illnesses talking.
Sometimes getting better involves being kind to yourself. Sometimes it involves getting a damn grip. Which one do you need? That’s up to you to find out. Probably some combination of both.
This is what hozier meant when he says he falls a little bit in love everyday with someone new
I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said “there you go sweeties - that will be more comfortable” before shuffling off and… I think about her often.
« Silent lovers » is such a sweet way to put it.
I was driving on the highway and passed a dude absolutely JAMMING alone in his car, doing those little half dance moves you do when you’re stuck sitting down in a small space, bellowing unheard lyrics at the top of his lungs, and my instant reaction was to think “I love you.” And then to pray he had a good day, or whatever, because those fleeting moments of connection are so incredible.
When I watched the Greatest Showman in theaters, there was a couple sitting in the row below us. After the movie ended, with the credits song playing, the guy danced her out of the theater all dramatically and they were smiling and laughing and singing and they looked so happy and so in love… and I think about them a lot.
Here’s to all the people who slip you an extra food item in your purchase, or look up a coupon/sale to help you out, to those who go out of their way to compliment something they liked about you, to all the people who are unapologetically their authentic, fun selves, and to anyone who’s ever made our days in some way, shape, or form.
its always “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear” until im fucking parallel parking and it looks like im all up on their ass and when i get out of the car theres enough space for me to start a small business like qdagwbsbeje AAAAAAA
